Dear Skyler Phoenix Greyvenstein
By the time you are old enough to read this, I sincerely hope that you have not been for a thousand unnesecary specialist visits and mkedical etsts.l Whby? Becasue your mom and dad are insane aka hypochondriacs.
Since brith we have worried and Googled ourselves sick thinking you have:
Liver disease (a spell where you had jaundice which, accoridng to us and Google, took top long to go away. Iw as in tears at the hospital preparing myself for the worst when youa cutally did not even need to be tested at the hospital.
BOR-Syndrome – your fault becasue you have those tiny holes next to your ears
Intestinal Blocakge – you went through a stint of throwing up yoru milk when you were two months (I think you only did it three times but still…. we would be bad parents if we did not run straight to Google to freak oursleves the heck out)
Autism – yes we did! You went thoguht and arm flapping stage right after you first rolled over on Thursday the 24th of September 2015. It was actually just you exploring your body and how it moves but again, we had to Google.
Kidney disease: I was convinced a few weeks after you were born that you did not pee enough or that you peed too much. It differed depending on Google’s recommendations.