What’s it like to be 33 weeks pregnant?

More accurately what is it like to be 32 weeks and five days pregnant? It sucks.

It’s not comfortable, it’s not glowing and it’s not pretty. It’s also not small.

I feel huge, fat, giant-like and extremely uncomfortable. People look at me and say: I look more pregnant than you. You are small for 32 weeks. No I’m not (and I’m not being modest here I’m just showing what blatant liars people are as I have gained about 40 pounds so far!!). My bay measures 37 cm. I am carrying around something bigger than a ruler and I can feel it stretching my muscles, stretching my skin to the point where I am constantly scared it will tear and every time I get up I feel this pressure on my bladder which makes me want to stay seated on the toilet permanently.

I have stopped going to the gym. I went there faithfully up until 29 weeks at which point it became a real struggle. I am just too tired and pathetic to go. I pack my gym bag every morning and drive past the gym straight to the couch every afternoon. I am just so tired, so moody, so confused and so uncomfortable.

If you think it gets easier towards the end it doesn’t. I had a weekend in which I was blissfully excited about having a baby. Thinking finally the mommy hormones and brain washing are kicking in. But then Monday came and I got scared again of how the hell I will manage a career and a baby and I am now once again trying to find the joys of motherhood by looking very deep into my colleagues eyes when I whisper: is it really worth it? How often do you sleep? Does your baby cry all the time? How much does it cost you per month? Yes- they do look at me funny but honestly if I don’t ask how will I know???